So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
