Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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