Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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