i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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