sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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