Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize