The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
