he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So squirting runs in the family.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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