I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
