the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
