i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
