I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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