i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
