i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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