We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
