perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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