Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
