were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
