i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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