i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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