Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
