Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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