i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
