I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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