Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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