Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize