You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
