Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
