we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Randomize
