You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize