i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
