Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize