Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
