You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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