I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
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i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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