How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize