is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
