remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
