We're facebook friends in real life
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
