It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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