i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
