hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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