flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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