if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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