her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Acid is not a monday night drug
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
