dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
