in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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