I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
