I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
