I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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