it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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