You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
