it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
