i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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