honey bunches of taint.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
