Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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