i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
