In the future we'll all be gay
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I skipped work to stalk him.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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