It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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