70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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